*Thoughts

i know how tough life can get. things may go out of control..situations may be hard, but i will try everything to make it work.just promise me that youll hold on, for this relationship to last a lifetime. theres no such thing as forever i know..probably we may get sick and tired of each other but hunnieh, i swear ill never let you go. youre mine and you know im yours, just you and me..US in our own world. past may sometimes kill me, eat my whole being with jealousy,maybe because i cant live with the fact that at one point in your life, you loved her and she loved you, that you shed tears for her. i cant accept the fact that someone owned your heart before i did.im really bothered by that girl in the past, but what can i do?she has been a part of you and youre a part of me, so i guess i just have to deal with it.

honestly, i want to torment her life!!because she's trying to come back and steal whats mine.damn all the exes!!it really hurts me when she tries to communicate with you..a simple hello,a simple qoute,damn! i really wanna kill her.hmm..well as youve said its not a big deal but even if i try to say that its okay..it will never be okay.it will always be a big deal for me,im sorry if i feel that way,i love you so much that im so scared that someone might take you away from me. i know..i know..im crazy,possesive,clingy,needy,tempestuous and all..but thank you for still loving me. theres no such thing as a perfect relationship. we fight, we cry,we laugh,we talk and sometimes dont talk at all but i can say that our relationship is the closest thing to perfection. there are so many songs that can describe how we feel for each other but no words can define how much love i have for you. you may not be the guy in my dreams, you may not be the guy that i asked god to give me, youre not him because youre more than ive asked for. you made everything okay, you are the reason behind my smiles and tears. so many mushy thoughts that comes to my mind right now, too cliche for me to write and say. i have come to think that in the 5 months that weve been together, i have been so dependent on you, that in my everyday living all i think is you. im like a little girl who cant live a day without seeing her crush, a girl who never stops writing his name on her diary. i have built my whole world around you that in every way possible i want you to be in every dream and plans that i have. which i have realized that its not healthy for me anymore. im a woman of stregnth,independence and joy but now its as if im back to being a child.it feels like im living in my own fantasy that i forgot that im in the real world, that most of the time shit happens! ive closed my doors, i have locked myself in my own world,my paradise. maybe im like this because i got so overwhelmed in the idea that i always have you around, that many people can leave me except you. im so stuck in the idea that i have found my own bliss. its wrong, i know. but what can i do? i tried to detach myself a bit, i tried i swear. but its as if im glued.funny, but its true. im sorry if ever i locked you in my own world too. ill try to change just help me to. im not a perfect girlfriend,daughter,pal..a person. sometimes im really having a hard time on how am i going to love you..i kept asking myself.."pano nga ba magmahal ng tama?"its really hard to find the answer because its as if everything is wrong. all i know is that i love you and you love me..and again im sorry. i still have so many things in my mind but i guess i should end it here,i love you hunnieh, ill always will -jessica